sayhitobianca | 001

Well, this is a particular brand of crazy I haven’t seen before. It’s almost refreshing, really.

Through mysterious and mystical forces, your world never has and never will exist. But fear not, a tremendously kind lord is taking care of everything, because he has nothing better to do with his time than recreate the world. Add in some shadowy staff, an obvious ulterior motive, some attractive heroes, a couple of twists and betrayals, a suspicious request for record keeping, and I can work with this. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s record keeping.

Of course I prefer to do my record keeping in the comfort of the Hanged Man and not in a random room of a keep run by an insane nobleman who writes strange letters on his prisoners while they’re unconscious.

What have you gotten yourself into this time, Varric?

I’m sure this is Hawke’s fault. It always is. Well, aside from all the times it was Rivaini’s. And Blondie’s. Or the elf-

Andraste’s dimpled buttcheeks. I’ve got to get myself some better friends.

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Do you believe yourself to be mysterious, then?

Of course. You have to have a certain amount of mystery as a storyteller.

Not too much, though. Too much mystery and people start wanting to "look into it," and that never ends well.

Usually involves giant spiders.

[Laughs]

Giant spiders?

[The laughter makes him grin.]

Giant spiders.

There's far too many of them where I'm from. Friend of mine seems to have made it his personal mission to get rid of them, judging by how often they end up attacking us.

[Another short laugh]

He does, does he?

Oh, yeah. Though compared to other things he's fought, I'm sure giant spiders seem like a walk in the park.

So he is strong. Is he a warrior? Are you a warrior?

One of the strongest men I know.

[Well. Technically he's a rogue. But he'll go with warrior.]

You could say that, yes.

You must both be very strong.

There certainly are a lot of warriors in this place.

I have my moments. Mostly it gives Bianca a chance to shine.

Are there? Maybe this lord has a certain type he likes to "rescue."

Who is Bianca? Another warrior friend? [Strange name for a warrior...]

...

...I am not a warrior...

You could say that. Bianca came with me, actually. I'm sure I can introduce you at some point.

Not being a warrior isn't a bad thing, Birdie. Sometimes it's the smartest choice.

Bee-yann-kha. Is this friend a male or a female? I would love to meet such a warrior.

...Where I'm from, there is no choice at all.

Bianca is a beauty of a lady.

[Is he going to tell her Bianca's a crossbow? Nah.]

No choice in a 'some people are born to be warriors and some aren't' kind of way, or in a 'people are forced to be warriors or not be warriors in spite of their personal preference'?

A beauty? She must be. I have heard of female warriors before... but only in days of old...

No one is forced. It is an honor and a privilege for those who choose to fight and to defend our clan. It is simply something females may not partake in. Most do not live longer than their twentieth year.

An honor and a privilege, huh?

[He sounds only mildly curious, though inside he's wincing a little bit. That whole thing just sounds like a mess of complications, and he's definitely glad Aveline isn't here to hear that bit about female warriors. Wouldn't want to hear her response to that.]

There's plenty of female warriors where I'm from. The captain of the guard is a woman.

Yes. Our warriors are brave and wizened through their experiences.

Oh? Is she here as well? [Definite interest and curiosity in her voice, there.]

Not that I know of. Which is almost a shame, I'd like to see her go up against this nobleman.

[Except not really. He suspects this is something Aveline couldn't do anything about, and Maker knows he wouldn't want to be stuck in a keep with an Aveline who was feeling useless.]

The Lord of this Keep?

The one who's been kind enough to bring us all here, yes.

[She chuckles at that--then silence ensues, almost as if that was her only response.]

I take it you are not fond of finding yourself in an unknown place?

[Much the same as she. She yearned to stretch her wings and fly.]

Not the biggest fan of it, no. Especially not when I seem to be stuck in it.

[But at least, with any luck, it'll be a little less unknown before long.]