Varric Tethras

Well, this is a particular brand of crazy I haven’t seen before. It’s almost refreshing, really.

Through mysterious and mystical forces, your world never has and never will exist. But fear not, a tremendously kind lord is taking care of everything, because he has nothing better to do with his time than recreate the world. Add in some shadowy staff, an obvious ulterior motive, some attractive heroes, a couple of twists and betrayals, a suspicious request for record keeping, and I can work with this. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s record keeping.

Of course I prefer to do my record keeping in the comfort of the Hanged Man and not in a random room of a keep run by an insane nobleman who writes strange letters on his prisoners while they’re unconscious.

What have you gotten yourself into this time, Varric?

I’m sure this is Hawke’s fault. It always is. Well, aside from all the times it was Rivaini’s. And Blondie’s. Or the elf-

Andraste’s dimpled buttcheeks. I’ve got to get myself some better friends.