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[sayhitobianca]

Well, this is a particular brand of crazy I haven’t seen before. It’s almost refreshing, really.

Through mysterious and mystical forces, your world never has and never will exist. But fear not, a tremendously kind lord is taking care of everything, because he has nothing better to do with his time than recreate the world. Add in some shadowy staff, an obvious ulterior motive, some attractive heroes, a couple of twists and betrayals, a suspicious request for record keeping, and I can work with this. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s record keeping.

Of course I prefer to do my record keeping in the comfort of the Hanged Man and not in a random room of a keep run by an insane nobleman who writes strange letters on his prisoners while they’re unconscious.

What have you gotten yourself into this time, Varric?

I’m sure this is Hawke’s fault. It always is. Well, aside from all the times it was Rivaini’s. And Blondie’s. Or the elf-

Andraste’s dimpled buttcheeks. I’ve got to get myself some better friends.

Comments

audio

[sayhitobianca]

First time I've ever heard that. Most times people only comment when they're not hearing it.

Of course he has. We get taken captive, and Hawke manages to go missing before I even wake up.

Any idea how long it's been?

audio

[3wayforjustice]

He's been missing for weeks now... No one knows where he was, last. I've been looking, but... I've found nothing.

audio

[sayhitobianca]

....weeks? Unless Hawke's got a twin I don't know about - please say he doesn't have a twin, Maker knows one of Hawke's more than enough - he can't have been missing that long.

You feeling okay, Blondie?

audio

[3wayforjustice]

He doesn't. He's been here with me for... a long time now. And then he went missing.

Fine. Rather harried, but fine.

audio

[sayhitobianca]

You picked a strange time to like really bad practical jokes.

I just saw you two, not a few hours before I woke up here. And I can't have been out for weeks.

I'd be a lot hungrier, for one.

audio

[3wayforjustice]

Varric, I swear to you on my magic... I have been here for weeks. With Hawke.

I can't explain to you how it happened, or why, but that is the truth.

audio

[sayhitobianca]

All right, all right, no need to go saying crap like that.

[He doesn't have enough coin on him to get people not to hear you shouting about having magic, Anders. Also he thinks they're still in and/or near Kirkwall.]

I'll just assume it's the same magic that makes whatever these things are work. Not like I'm an expert.

All right. You've been here for weeks, and haven't found a way out? I know I'm the one blessed with all the brains in our little family, but you two are usually more capable.

audio

[3wayforjustice]

I've tried to understand the magic of this place. There aren't any spells I can find... me, or Justice.

Not for lack of trying, I can assure you of that much.

audio

[sayhitobianca]

The magic here goes beyond even big, blue, and scary's power?

That's... really not encouraging.

Why can't we ever be the guests of any normal noblemen, with deep, flowing pockets? All we ever get are the crazy people, with deep, flowing dark magic.

audio

[3wayforjustice]

No. It isn't. It's incredibly disturbing.

And deeper secrets, it would seem.

audio

[sayhitobianca]

Oh, excellent. It's not officially an adventure until there's disturbing, potentially traumatic secrets to uncover.

What have you learned so far?